Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
