If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
