It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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