By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
