All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
