she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
