if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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