dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
