I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
