just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When are your genitals available?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
