He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
