So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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