Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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