SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
