i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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