I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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