you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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