it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
