I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
