so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
