we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
