Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
