That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize