ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
