Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
