is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
