I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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