Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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