$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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