Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
