i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
