Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
