do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
