So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
