What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
