Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
