I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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