goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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