it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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