You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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