fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
