I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
