you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
