is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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