Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
