so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
