i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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