Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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