Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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