I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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