When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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