Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
