I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize