I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
