those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
