I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I look better un-naked...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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