Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize