you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
