He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
