he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dear god my vagina.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
