You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
should my penis look like a turkey
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize