how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you had me at cake vodka
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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