I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
