In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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