If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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