420 ftw
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
