We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
