he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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