I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
