eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
