Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
