it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
