FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
