It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
