I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
