fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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