none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is not my ceiling
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i think my cat just said my name.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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